1. |
Starting Over
03:55
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When I fell, it always felt
Like the world had wrapped a blanket around itself
All I could see, beside me
Were vague shapes of what lay underneath
Here and there an arm emerged
A bit of hair, a stray urge
Nothing connected
The air fell upon itself
I was lonely, broke and hungry in my attic cell
Promises I made when I was afraid
Well they fell like hollow arrows in pouring rain
But still one foot followed the other
And then I’d start over [x2]
I think it was then that the wind
Twisted me into your bed
You wound your legs around mine
And you loosened the air and you slowed down time
Until it was just this:
A breath
And then another
And then we start over [x2]
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2. |
Hesitation Blues
03:05
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I spent last summer with a turtle girl
Going three-thirds crazy with the hesitation blues
She was 50-50, and I was certified
A bona fide Bodner with the hesitation blues
Singing how long are you gonna wait
How long are you gonna hesitate
I spent last fall doing not much at all
Impersonating patience with the hesitation blues
I wasted time fighting isolation
Courting dragamuffins with the hesitation blues
Singing how long, how long, o lordy how…
A poseful man in a red rocking chair
Soliloquizing on the hesitation blues
He pours himself another glass of silence and
Whips himself over the hesitation blues
Singing how long am I gonna wait
How long am I gonna hesitate
How long, how long, o lordy how…
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3. |
Rising Tide
03:44
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Oh my dear, I truly believe
You like all the parts of me
That I let you see
And my dear, well if I should see
A less than ideal picture of me
I just hit delete
Get my story straight and deliver on time
Make sure every character gets a line
There’s a part here undefined
It could be yours and it could be mine
What if I told you that I
I followed the wrong stars all of my life [x2]
What if I told you that I--
I hauled the north star down
I ground it down
I maybe made a little whimpering sound
And watched the light go out
And you, I’m so grateful for you
And all the gentle things you do
To push me through
You could go, and of course you could stay
And watch the bruises I made every day
Fade away
Ah let’s put aside, the stories that I
I told to get by, all of my life [x2]
And if we go outside
With open eyes
And we go where the water’s wide
Your hand in mine
What happens when we’re on the happier side
Of a rising tide
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4. |
Green River Ice
03:55
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Well if I am the flatlands, you’re the sea
Touch me here, on my chest
This is where you’re leaking into me
And yes you are my woman, I’m your man
Show me what you want and I
Will show you what I understand
A solitary songbird sings advice:
Freeze the restless moon in the green river ice
Inside, I light a fire and you bring me
A broken hand for a broken hand
A sudden open possibility
(No guarantees)
Let’s turn it around
Let’s own this town
Let’s step off the edge and
Feel the pleasure of
Sinking, sinking, sinking down
A rumbling in your ear to entice:
Build a home with me in the green river ice
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5. |
The First to Know
04:19
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Well she came like summer rain, the world got bright
Blue-green with flecks of gold in the prairie light
And I said I would, oh my darling I would
I would oh my darling I would
Warm hands now moving down her perfect back
Oh she was my prettiest heart attack
And I say I would, oh no question I would
I would oh no question I would
She said “my thighs are bruised and sore from the jut of your hip
Your eyes and your little sigh make me bite my lip
And I would too, my darling, I would
I would too my darling, I would
And what we have is bigger than what we sought
I will not regret this time if it’s all we’ve got
And I would, oh I would if I could
I would, oh I would if I could”
At the airport now with a suitcase and a long slow fade
She turned around and broke down at the gate
Crying “I would, oh I wish that I could
I would oh I wish that I could”
And if, if she doesn’t go
And if, if she doesn’t go
She’ll be the first to know
She’ll be the first to know
Now I’m a thousand miles from her door
Between my thoughts and words there lie ten thousand more
Not all waves break on shore
Not all waves break on shore
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6. |
Borderline
03:13
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It’s the simple things that elude me
Like the how and the when and the why
Every time I thought I knew who
She had another to try
But now that the maps are all folded
In some pocket that I’ll never find
I’m just pushing my way from the night to the day
As I’m crossing your borderline
And if there’s a crack in the windshield
And a couple of holes in the floor
And cigarettes spill off the edge of the ashtray
And no one can open the door
Well I guess that you get what you pay for
I sure paid for what I got each time
But the scenery’s changed
The winds are all strange
As I’m crossing your borderline
There’s ice blue out on the horizon
But the moon hasn’t given up yet
Your breath comes in waves all over my body
We’re a tangle of skin, hair and sweat
And the world shuts down for a moment
There’s no sense of what’s yours or what’s mine
And I just let go of the things I don’t know
As I’m crossing your borderline
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7. |
Bigger than Me
02:56
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Everything I see, it is bigger than me
I’ve seen what I wanted to see and I want to go home
And the past I tried to leave, it was bigger than me
I tried to be who I tried to be
Bigger than me and as far as I can see
A single leaf in a forest of trees
Bigger than me
And the things you gave to me were all bigger than me
And you just kept on giving them for free
And your personality, and all the things you guaranteed
They were all bigger than me
And this small epiphany it is bigger than me
A big impossibility that I never could own
And the man I tried to be, he was bigger than me
A piece of my tiny history
Bigger than me and as far as I can see
A single drop in a raging sea
Bigger than me
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8. |
Two Thin Dimes
03:25
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My girl left me on Tuesday
She tied a string around all the things
She’d decided to keep for a new day
While I was sleeping, while I was sleeping
My girl invented a sunrise
An open door, a chance to be born
She took one last look at my closed eyes
While I was thinking, while I was thinking
And since she could not give me time
She sealed my eyes with two thin dimes
My girl came down with the sickness
The river’s daughter cried out for water
She said “don’t you want to quit this”
While I was sinking, while I was sinking
My girl left me a warning:
“Sharpen your tune, make your peace with the moon
If you want to make it up to the morning”
While I was sleeping, while I was sleeping
And while the sun burned up in the air
And I closed my eyes, that moon was everywhere
That moon was everywhere [x3]
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9. |
No Going Back
03:20
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That sense I couldn’t shake, that I was better yesterday
I’m gonna let it go
And the possibilities that others saw in me
I’m gonna let ‘em go
Did I waste my time in line
Did I blow it every time
No going back, no going back
And this feeling in my head, like everything’s unstoppable
It’s not impossible to let it go
And the worn-out memories of the best and worst of me
I’m, I’m gonna let ‘em go
If I tried to stay with you, it’s just…you were all I knew
Long ago I should have let you go
And if being this sort of man was never part of my plan
You’ll understand if I let it go
And the one or two I tried to keep from leaving me behind
It took a bit of time to work you off my mind
I got so far away from home I had to make one of my own
On my own, on my own
And if I spent thirty years just trying to disappear
I didn’t know how to let it go
And was my simple goal to gain or let go of control
My scars show how I let it go
My mind, it had to learn to make my heart beat out these words:
No going back
There’s no going back [x3]
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10. |
Lost and Found
03:56
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Did I call to you the way you called to me
Oh, oh are you a little kittykat in a tree
The house is bare but it’s getting warm
Here, let me get this heavy door come in
My darling one, come in
You know I noticed here, where we stopped to stand
Oh your lower back asking for my hand
A straight-ahead path can get us lost
There’s a gentle way to shape running water
Shaping running water
And all these pale, pale blue butterflies
From mouth on mouth and from hand on hand
Looking for a safe place to land
Oh, looking for a heart to understand
Well the valley’s low and the mountain’s high
Oh it feels like we could tiptoe to the sky
We’re the only ones for miles around
Oh set me up and knock me down
Oh knock me down
Oh we are both shadows and light
We are day and night, we are day and night
We are both flesh and bone
Shelter and storm, shelter and storm
Yeah we are both free and bound
Oh we are lost and found
We are lost and found
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11. |
Home Ground
03:47
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A crooked heart still has a rhythm
I’ve got a little routine that I learned from before
My mouth around a tune that rises up too soon
Cold air blowing through a crack in the door [x2]
Now and then it falls out of straight time
Skipping over the water, and it’s hidden from view
And an ordinary wind starts rising up again
Starts pushing me over and closer to you [x2]
I once thought the heart had no reason
And I hid it a while or I gave it on loan
Now I know it’s there because it’s easier to be there
Chipping and breaking when I go it alone [x2]
The wind bends the backs of all the jackpines
Clouds so low they’re almost not there
I’m shifting around on the last piece of home ground
Early fall hanging high in the air [x2]
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12. |
Correction Lines
05:16
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When I was 16, I couldn’t get enough to give it for free, I was:
Green smoke and ash
A calculated crash
Saver of the trash in a breaking home
Sideways and sly
And dead ends alive
The snaking springtime lie inside my throat
And my face is not frozen in time
It has correction lines
It bends a little in the light and goes on
When I turned 25, I found another way to feel half alive, I was:
Pacing the floor
One hand on the door
Burnt down, broken, poor and hungry too;
Rainy day grey eyes and a
Boy of my own kind
Some I left behind, some I carried through
And our faith is not frozen in time
We get correction lines
We bend a little in the night and go on
When I turned 31, another part of me was coming undone, I was:
Bruises and scars
Hopelessly far
Stay where you are and don’t look down
Soft spots and bones
And another dream of home
Laid out on my own in frozen towns
Yeah my place is not frozen in time
I have correction lines
I move a little to the right and go on
Now older, I understand
Oh yes I guess my grief is a man, I’m all:
Blue calm and fear
And playing it by ear
The sleeping engineer drifts off the tracks;
And this leaning spire
This smoking little fire
This wound and knotted wire’s all white and black
And our grace is not frozen in time
We get correction lines
We bend a little to the light and go on
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Star Thistle Winnipeg, Manitoba
Singer-songwriter project of Uncle Sinner.
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